I might be a bit slow to catch onto this phrase that I'd actually never heard before, but, as I started to tell a friend that I'd recently been verbally assaulted through social media the other day, it dawned on me that, technically, this wasn't a 'verbal' assault, because, the perpetrator or attacker didn't actually vocalize his hatred of people like me. I'd received this opinion through text, or social media messaging (Grindr, to be exact). To catch you up to speed, here's the term 'textual assault' defined:
textual assault - [tekst yoo el - uh'solt] (n) 1. Any unwanted act of a textual nature that is imposed on another person. 2. The act of attacking a friend, crush, significant other or total stranger with constant unwanted text messages. 3. The act of soliciting an unprovoked, unwarranted, unwanted message through text or social media messaging.
I've mentioned this many times before, but, I live in a 'red' city within a 'blue' state that is Spokane, Washington. Yes, even many of the gay guys here are 'severely conservative'. Oddly, their conservatism seems to be what defines them, as these conservatives tend to vocalize (to me anyway) that they're proud of who they are, right up front. I don't have a problem with self-pride, but, why is it that I, of all people, get singled out by these conservatives? I don't ask for their political opinion up front, nor, do I go about boasting my own view on politics when I introduce myself to people. Any of my other friends who've met these same people have had very different first impressions of these 'proud conservative' gay guys, and are usually shocked when they hear about my impression upon meeting these people. Some of them are fortunate to actually witness my introduction to these 'proud conservatives'. I'm always thankful that some people have witnessed these accounts, first hand, because, I really don't know if they actually believe me when I tell them about it. Or, I assume that my friends must think that I go around with a 'proud liberal' tattoo on my forehead, provoking the 'proud conservatives' to express themselves and their opinion to me before even getting to know me.
'HISS' & 'GROWL'
Just imagine what it must be like on Grindr or Scruff, here, in good ol' Spokane, WA. If you're on Scruff, you're familiar with the 'WOOF' button. I almost feel that there's a need for a 'HISS' or 'GROWL' button, so that if you are an individual who doesn't like me because of my profile, you could just 'HISS' (or 'GROWL') at me to forewarn me to never attempt to message you, or even 'WOOF' at you. This way, I could easily just 'block' you immediately, and we'd both be on our 'merry little way'.
The latest 'self-loathing, 'I'-need-to-project-my-self-hatred-onto-other-gay-guys' episode happened just the other day on Grindr. It came, unwarranted, and unprovoked. The messages started something like this (from what I can recall):
I hate people like you.
I hate liberals like you.
Too many of you gay guys tend to be liberal, and I don't get along with most gay men.
Wow.
"I hate myself," table for ONE?... Your table is ready.
I wanted to immediately respond by telling this guy to get off his high horse, accept and fully embrace himself for who he is, live free, and stop hating others for leading happily gay lives of their own, but, I didn't want to make assumptions about him, or try to analyze his entire existence or even get into an argument through text. This user's name is being withheld, because, he already knows that he's outnumbered, and, it really doesn't look good when people like 'us' start attacking 'them'.
Spokanistan
There are many more conservative, gay men like this in the Spokane area, unfortunately. I've never really disliked or hated this mid-sized city because of its clean air, clean water, easy access to outdoor activities, light traffic, relatively low cost of living, and the few pro-active liberals who make things happen, like a ten-fold increase in the number of bike lanes throughout the city, etc., but, there are still too many conservatives for my taste. It's at the point now, that when I visit Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, Vancouver (BC), I almost always dread the thought of returning home to Spokane (aka Spokanistan, Spokaloo, Spoklahoma, Spokansas, Spokompton, etc.)
[ Tap & Connect ]
If you're ever in Spokane, WA on business, and, you're a 'like-minded-individual', feel free to hit me up if you happen to spot me on Grindr or Scruff. I could always use 'a breath of fresh air'. If you're on Scruff, you're more than welcome to message me or 'WOOF' at me to get my attention. I respond to all 'WOOFS' and messages. My username on both Grindr and Scruff is simply 'Kenny'.
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